The (Invisibly) Disabled Minister / 2

Unconscious Ableism

We’ve all heard of racism, sexism, agism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, islamophobia, etc. etc.¹ These often seem to be the buzzwords in society that’s guaranteed to get people motivated to make their voice heard. But there is one ‘ism’ that often seems to get overlooked – and that is ableism. More and more there has been awareness raised about how easy it is to be unconsciously biased or prejudice towards someone based on one characteristic or another. We all make snap judgements about people, but often our judgements are influenced by negative stereotypes or assumptions. This is as true for ableism as for any other ‘-ism’ or ‘-phobia’.

And it’s not just the ‘able-bodied’ who can be ableist, so too can those with disabilities. I was listening to an audiobook by Emily Ladau, talking about ‘demystifying disability’, and she spoke about how regularly we are casually ableist in our everyday language.² For example, we often say things like, ‘that’s crazy!’; ‘Wow, you are mental’; ‘I’m so blind, it was right there in front of me’; ‘stop being so OCD’, and the list goes on, and on, and on. Our language uses many ways to suggest that having a disability is wrong, negative, or even inhuman. Emily wasn’t trying to guilt us, but was trying to help us be aware of the words we say and perhaps try not to use them in the future. I listened to this and felt very much in agreement with it…

…and then mere hours later, I find myself in a WhatsApp conversation where I use the phrase ‘oh wow, that sounds insane.’

And that was definitely a face-palm moment for me. I didn’t even manage to last half a day before I was using exactly the kind of ableist language that was spoken of in the book. But, on the plus side, the book did exactly what it was designed to – it heightened my awareness to my unconscious ableism and helped me to think again about the language I regularly use.

Ableism is unfortunately a really easy trap to fall into. I was at an event recently, a special day to celebrate a friend finishing their training and accepting the call to ministry. It was a really great day, and a really special moment. But, there was a moment when, unexpectedly, ministers from other churches were called up to gather around, reach out our hands and pray for my friend. This was a lovely thought, and a great idea to encourage unity in the Church, but it was also a struggle for me personally due to my disability. Firstly, we had to step up onto the stage, which isn’t normally a problem for me, and it wasn’t that day…on the way up at least. On the way back down and to my seat, stepping from the stage caused pain to shoot through my knee, and I had to hold back a gasp of pain.

So, that was the first hurdle. Once we were up on stage, we had to stand, with our hands stretched out for about ten to fifteen minutes while everyone prayed. Now, you might think that doesn’t sound like much of a big deal, but for me it is. If I stand for as little as 1 minute 15 seconds, I begin to hurt. That pain then only increases the longer I stand for. Having my arm outstretched for that length of time also causes quite a bit of pain. So, as you can imagine, by the end of the prayer time, my body was screaming at me to sit back down as soon as possible.

This lovely gesture of unity of people from different churches praying was really special. But it was also really painful. When people do not struggle with different disabling conditions, they often do not realise how even small things can create problems or barriers for them. I do not want to criticise those involved for the unified prayer moment, because it was great. But it is a reminder for us, me included, to think about how our behaviour, our words, our unconscious choices might affect the way others are able to feel included and welcomed.

How can we try to watch out, and catch ourselves when we are being ableist? Increased awareness is the first step, for all of us, as we try to show the love and compassion of Jesus to everyone, those with disabilities and those without. I pray that the Holy Spirit might guide us so that we do learn to combat our unconscious biases.

[1] Emily Ladau, Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to be an Ally, (Ten Speed Press, 2021), p.70.

[2] Ladau, p.20.